Week 7

Life took over this week-end and I didn't have a chance to write the post for week 7 earlier. 

On week 7 my parents were in Iceland so we got back to life with a newborn without any help. I was dreading it after 2.5 weeks of my parents coming over and helping out with this or that. But we were fine, and it was actually better for Logan.

Week 7 is when I started this blog!

We decided that we would take turns getting up with Logan at 7 or 7.30, as the nights are still quite broken and even if we go to bed early, only getting 2 or 3 hours sleep at a time is exhausting. Typically he would feed one last time around 7.30 then go to bed at 8 pm. He would then wake up around 2.30 am for a feed (but we don't go to bed at 8, we go to bed at 11 pm!), then again at 5.30 and then wake up anytime between 7 and 8.

My best friend Alex from America was over in Scotland for her work so she managed to make time to come and see us, and meet Logan. We had a brilliant day doing... nothing! She needed the rest from her 2 week walking tour of Ireland and Scotland, and the weather was atrocious so we spend the day talking babies (she has a wee boy who's 18 months old) and we went for coffee while Mike watched Logan. The only downer was that she had a cold, and of course Logan caught it.

Well trying to ease a baby's cold is not easy as they can't take any medicine! So for 5 nights in row we would steam him up by one of us sitting with him in the bathroom while the other one would take a shower. Then role reversal, then we would give him his bath. So all in, about 45 min to 1 hour in a steamed up room. That helped a bit.

Another thing that we did and helped, but that we don't recommend doing, is squirting saline solution (i.e. contact solution for example) up his nose. He hated it, but it did help. However for it to work, he needed to swallow some. I had something nagging me at the back of my mind about newborns and drinking water. The doctor (who we were seeing for the 6-week check, at 7.5 weeks!) also asked me if he had been sick when I was telling her about him having a cold and what we were trying to help him. I thought she was asking that to find out if it was something worse than a cold.

The day after he was really sick. Only once, but he brought back a lot of stuff. And again for the next 2 days. And then I thought it must be the saline solution because he'd only been that sick since we'd started using it. At last it clicked with me: babies that age can't digest water!

So DON'T use saline solution to help your baby when he/she has a cold as it WILL come back out, with a lot of food.

I'm glad to say that at week 8 the cold is over and Logan is fine again!

Visit from the French grandparents - Weeks 5 & 6

So we had the French grandparents visiting us for 2.5 weeks and we had a great time. My Dad and Mike spent most of the time reflooring the kitchen, bathroom and study while my Mum, Logan and myself went shopping, walking, pushing the pram. 

Logan started to get into an evening routine during that time, this was helped by the fact that my Mum and Dad stayed in a static caravan up the road. The first week they had lunch with us, dinner by themselves in the caravan. So we set out bathtime around 7 pm, then a last feed, and bed by 8 pm - 9 pm depending on when Logan's last nap took place. If he was napping just before 7 pm, we would actually wake him up so that he understood the routine. 

My parents loved the experience of living in the caravan so much that from the start they told us they were really interested in buying one, in order to be able to come and visit us as often as they wished and have other members of the French Clan come too. So the second week was spent visiting a couple of caravan sites and buying a 3-bedroomed brand new caravan on a seaview site at Craig Tara, just 10 minutes from our house. 

Craig Tara is a brilliant caravan site for families, part of the Haven group. There are lots of facilites for children, including swimming pool, games rooms, bowling etc... Restaurants, bars, even takeaways are all located on the site. The only inconvenient is that it is HUGE with 1,200 caravans!! 

Halfway through my parents' stay, Mike's sisters came to visit and meet Logan. So on the Saturday we all went to the caravan for a French meal, and on the Sunday we all went to Mike's parents house for a Scottish buffet. It was brilliant and Logan really enjoyed it, giving smiles to everyone around. That was his main development over those 2 weeks! It makes the first 4 weeks of not really knowing what to do when he cries, of being tired all the time, of not having time to do ANYTHING but care for the baby, well worth it. 

I checked my Facebook posts for these 2 weeks and there was nothing much about me not coping with something or other regarding Logan. Mind you I was really busy keeping my parents entertained.

Logan had his first proper outings on week 6 and he behaved superbly. 

The first outing was this: My parents, Logan and I went to Edinburgh to visit Rosslyn Chapel (one of the Must Sees attractions in Scotland in my parents' opinion) and the Palace of HolyroodHouse. Unfortunately the wrap sling scarf that I had odered on eBay hadn't arrived yet, so on the way to Edinburgh I was wondering how I was going to deal with Logan while visiting the 2 sites. For the Chapel he was asleep being pushed around in the carseat that I had clipped to the wheel frame of the pram. For the Palace, after a really slow start (my mum, who is Royalty mad, spent some time in the gift shop buying a box commemorating William and Kate's wedding, and Logan needed changed, then fed. Thankfully the weather was brilliant so I was able to do this discreetly in a secluded area outside the Palace) I left the pram at the entry and carried him up with me. My dad took him for a little while (he was just about 5 kg back then so quite heavy!), then we got the pram back to visit the Abbey and the gardens. We had a brilliant day!

The second outing was to a restaurant: my parents took us out to celebrate buying the caravan. Logan fell asleep in the carseat on the way to the restaurant, and slept all the way through! Wonderful!

 

Week 4

Something brilliant happened on Week 4. It started with something not so brilliant: Logan was waking up a lot during the night, and every time we were checking nappy, changing if necessary and feeding. It was exhausting. 

So that Tuesday the health visitor came and I told her about it, and what should I do? She suggested putting Logan in his own bedroom as it's right next door to ours and we have a baby monitor. Well since then our nights have been so much better! Yes I worry more than when he was sleeping right next to me in his crib, but at least we're not disturbed anymore every time he squirms so can sleep longer at a time. And the baby monitor is very good, plus both doors are open so we would hear him anyway.

I wasn't going to leave him in our room for the 1st 6 months as recommended anyway: I was going to keep him with us until I only needed to feed him once through the night. As I'm breastfeeding, him in our room was easier as I hardly needed to get up and we had a wee box with nappy changing stuff in it so didn't need to go to his room, where the changing table is. So now I do have to get up and travel a few steps to get to my baby in the middle of the night, but since we sleep better I really don't mind. And we're able to ignore him when he's struggling to fall back asleep after a feed (i.e. when he talks to himself. If he cries then we go regularly to reassure him of course).

Logan was quite sick that week and I was worried that he may be getting Reflux. I am scared of reflux because both my sister's boys have it and she went through hell as it wasn't diagnosed until her first boy was 11 months old. Again Facebook really helped as friends were able to give me some advice and share their own experiences. It was quite scary as over 5 days he vomitted 3 times what looked like huge amounts. Once through the mouth, and twice through the mouth and nose. Poor wee soul he didn't understand what was happening. But I was reassured, and one of the main things to remember is that if Baby has a lot of wet and dirty nappies, then he's getting all he needs. He was just eating too much, too fast and his wee stomach couldn't cope.


Week 4 also saw the arrival of my parents. They would be with us for 2.5 weeks, but thankfully they had decided to stay in a static caravan in a caravan park up the road rather than in our house. That was a brilliant move and I would recommend that to every new mum. As much as it's nice to have help, as a person with a certain amount of pride I found it really hard to let my mum do everything. I was trying to have the house sort of clean (at least hoovered!) every morning before they arrived, or I would give her Logan and do the housework myself. And also as new parents with a baby who at this stage was still not doing nights very well, didn't have a routine, and was still crying without us knowing why, it would have been incredibly stressful for both my parents and us to live altogether in our small house (right size for 3, wrong size for 5!).

Week 3

I went to the breastfeeding network (BFN) again when Logan was exactly 3 weeks old (I had gone when he was exactly 7 days old, but he slept all the way through so couldn't show the ladies how we managed breastfeeding) as I was still pretty sore and couldn't contemplate another 4 months of the same pain 3 or 4 times a day.

Again he slept all the way through, but I spoke with the ladies and they arranged for one of them to come and see me the next Saturday evening to help me out. Unfortunately we had guests for dinner that night, so it was a bit hectic with preparing dinner, guests arriving, the BFN lady coming and spending a good hour with me, trying to put Logan to sleep, I think we eventually ate at 9.30 pm that night! My husband was brilliant at keeping them entertained while I was upstairs with the BFN lady. Our guests were very understanding as they themselves have a little one who is now 15 months old. So new mums out there: don't plan having a dinner party until your baby has some sort of evening routine!!

The BFN lady's advice really helped. Well, not all of it. One of the things she said was to pretty much show him a boob every time he squirms. Well I did that the day after and was knackered by 5 pm! So the next day I took the decision of feeding Logan every 3 hours and not more often. It sort of works, but when he screams his head off because he's hungry and it's under 3 hours I do feed him. It's not like I've got a bottle to prepare and clean afterwards so it's not much hassle.

So since she came and helped me out, my nipples are not sore anymore (it took another 2 weeks mind!) and we both know what we're doing so I hardly ever try to put him in the right position now. And he's putting on weight and feeds pretty quickly so we must be doing it right!

On week 3 we also tried to set up a routine with him (it was way too early!). We wanted him to fall asleep on his own in his cot as opposed to on us. There's a technique where you put him down, let him scream for 5 minutes then go and talk to him to reassure him, then do the same again 10 minutes later, and 15 minutes later. The first time it took him 1 hour to fall asleep. Poor wee soul it was really heartbreaking. We didn't keep this up very long actually. We're now at week 8 and I can't remember what we did for him to sleep between then and 2 weeks ago.

The second week

Week 2 was a hellish week for breastfeeding as my boobies got pretty sore. But the midwife really helped by getting me prescription for Jelonet, which are parafine/vaseline coated net things that you put on your nipples. They are huge so I used to cut each into four squares. At the beginning I used a new one after each time I fed, but I was going through my supplies pretty quick so once my tits got a bit better I only used them at night. They were great, I just had to peel them off before a feed. I wish I'd had more of them, but now at week 8 all is well anyway so what I had was enough.

The other thing that took place on week 2, and that I had no idea about, was a growth spurt from Logan. My Facebook post that day was:

"My baby hasn't slept all day. If he isn't feeding, he is crying. Even if the nappy is clean and he has been winded. I am knackered and my nipples are killing me. I'm 2 seconds away from giving up the whole breast feeding thing. I want to fast forward 4 or 5 weeks. In 5 words, having a pretty bad day. Advice please?"

I had my second Baby Blues day that day. But my friends were wonderful again and made me realise it was normal, that was him growing that day. And as usual, the next day I was all set for breastfeeding again and thought I had been ridiculous the day before for wanting to give it up. 

A few days later, Logan got really bad colics, screaming his head off for 3 hours at a time 2 nights in a row. We thought we'd hurt him (you never know, they seem so fragile!) while bathing him so the first night we patted his entire body to double check. 

And at day 11 the visits from the midwife stopped! That meant I wasn't going to get daily visits any longer. I was really scared of that! Every day when she came I had a nice long list of questions, and the prospect of having to wait a full week before having them answered really worried me. The health visitor came on day 12 and she was great. I really liked her. (she's not coming anymore, hence the use of the past tense: she only comes until week 6).

On week 2 I also rediscovered the joys of eating whatever you want! There are so many things you can't eat while pregnant, and the 1st week is so hectic you don't really think about what you're eating. So that second week it was rare steak, red wine, goats cheese, cider, my palate was having a ball! 

  

Clarifications

I got some feedback on the 2 previous posts so feel I need to clarify a couple of things.

First, yes Logan's daddy was at the birth, he just doesn't like being mentioned much and this blog is really about my experiences not his. He hates when people tag him on photos (Facebook and the likes) so I thought it best to keep him out of the blog as much as possible. Talked to him about it last night and he agrees.

Second, despite what I wrote about giving birth, I have to say it IS worth it, but that's me now nearly 8 weeks down the line. Apart from the fact that I was in pain for a bloody long time, I had a pretty straightforward birth that did not involve any gory detail. Logan came naturally, no forceps, no ventouse, no caesarean, and 2 hours after he was born I was standing up having a shower. I have friends and family members who had it a great deal worse than me!!

Logan is currently sleeping on my left shoulder and it's a wonderful feeling!

This is not today but it is what it looks like!

The first week

One of the great things about having a baby in the UK is the amount of support that you get once you're back home. When I was pregnant, I wished I'd had more appointments, seen an obstetrician, had more scans (you get 4 or 5 in France I think!! Only 2 over here!). But the support once the baby is born is fantastic.

I stayed 2 nights and 3 days in hospital, mainly to establish breastfeeding. That's pretty hard as both Logan and I had to learn how to do it. It doesn't come naturally to babies, contrary to what I thought!

I was sent home on Saturday afternoon. That first night at home I nearly gave it all up. Logan just couldn't latch on and was absolutely starving. It was heartbreaking to see him starving and try to latch on in vain. Thank goodness for 24 hour supermarkets as at 1 am I sent M (my husband) to Tesco to buy a bottle and some ready made formula milk. Half an hour later he was back and I was able to give my baby some food.

So that Sunday I was a wreck. That was my first Baby Blues day. I felt a failure for not being able to do the most natural thing of all: breastfeed. I did try again during the day, with limited success. And I had made the mistake of accepting 2 lots of visitors that afternoon. The first lot went well, then the midwife came and as I explained what had happened the night before, I started to cry uncontrollably. Never cried like that before! I just could NOT stop!! She was wonderful and really reassured me, watched me breastfeed, gave me advice etc... Unfortunately the second lot of visitors arrived while she was still there, so I had to show my red puffed face but they were very good with me. AND that was my first mother's day!!

As I'm doing this 7 week after the events, I have to check my Facebook wall to remember what happened back then. That's the main reason why I wanted to write a blog: to remember everything later on! Facebook has been wonderful as lots of my friends are mummies and they've experienced most of this stuff so have been able to give me lots of advice and tips.

So Sunday night was his 2nd night at home and he got colic. I had 2 beliefs about colic: breastfed babies seldom get it, and it only really starts at 6 weeks or so. Well wrong on both counts. Logan screamed and screamed from 10.30 pm to 3.45 am. 

Monday night we got something else: my boobs started producing proper milk as opposed to collostrum (this is by the way so much easier to feed!) and Logan's bowels started adjusting to that change. As a result, he SHAT 7 TIMES between 11 pm and 5 am.

For the rest of that week, nights were pretty hectic as Logan was learning the difference between night and day. This meant that when he was waking up in the middle of the night, he would stay awake needing entertained for 2.5 hours at a time. 

The midwife came every day, usually in the morning, and that was briiliant as I would write lists of questions every day and tell her my experiences. We found out on Tuesday that Logan had only lost 250 gr from his birth weight which was excellent news (all babies lose weight at the beginning and up to 10% - Logan had only lost about 5%). So despite the struggle with breastfeeding, Logan and I were actually doing pretty well!

I do have it easy though as my husband works from home, so it's been great having him take Logan for a while when I need a break.

 First trip in the car: from the hospital to the house

 First trip in the pram!

In his own bed

How it all started

It's been a while since I thought about starting a blog. I guess it started with my beautiful son's birth. Well maybe it started with his conception more like, but we'll not go there. Or maybe it started with my friend Paula's starting her own blog about her doll's houses a few days ago, and that reminded me that I wanted to do something similar about motherhood.

The first event that made me want to share my experiences as a mum was Logan's birth as it wasn't at all as the midwives described it. So it would be nice if someone told mums-to-be about LATENT LABOUR and it might as well be someone who's experienced it, i.e. ME.

Nobody told ME about Latent labour. So when at due date plus 6 I lost the plug and started to have contractions, I thought "that's it, Logan is coming out, yee'ha!". Contractions started at 7.30 pm on Tuesday, first pretty erratically, nothing was regular and they didn't last long. Anyway, bedtime came and after 2 hours of lying in bed not able to sleep due to pain shooting through my body every 10 to 15 minutes, I decided to go downstairs and lie on the sofa watching telly for the rest of the night. Around 3 am on Wednesday morning, after hours of timing the contractions, they had started to become sort of regular so I called the hospital. I was promptly told to stay home and call again in 2 hours. I waited 4 hours and called back. At that stage they were roughly every 5 minutes, but still not quite fully regular, and they lasted 30 seconds each. So at 7 am I am told to wait another hour and call again at 8 am. That's me now in pain for 12 hours.

At 8 am I call back, and have a contraction on the phone to the midwife. It lasts 30 seconds. She says to me "are they always this short?" THIS SHORT??? I've been having them for 12.5 hours!! Anyway she agrees to let me go to the hospital. At that stage they were 5 minutes apart. The transfer from home to the hospital lasts 25 mnutes, I have ONE contraction during that time. Now I start to think there's something not quite right with my contractions. When I get there, I am transferred to the Assessment area to be assessed. And I'm told I'm NOT in labour. I could have killed everybody. The midwife does a membrane sweep and sends me back home with a couple of powerful painkillers.

Back home I manage to sleep for 2 hours (remember I didn't sleep at all last night) and wake up to the sound of my own moaning as proper contractions have now started (that's what a membrane sweep is meant to provoke). It is now 4 pm or so on Wednesday afternoon. I have been having contractions for 21 hours.

I wait as I was told during the antenatal classes (where noone told us expectant mothers about LATENT LABOUR) for the contractions, now REAL, to be 5 minutes apart. When they reach 8 minutes apart I cannae wait any longer and call the hospital, begging them to let me come and give me some painkillers. I am told to eat (it is now 8 pm), which I do but it doesn't stay in my stomach unfortunately. At 9.30 pm we get to the hospital and again I am assessed. Now when we left home they were 8 minutes apart. When we got to the hospital, they got to 5 minutes apart. While waiting to be assessed (half an hour!!) they got to 2.5 minutes apart! I thought I was going to give birth in the waiting room! 

During the assessment my waters break (what a bloody wet mess, literally!). Once the waters have broken, contractions are even more PAINFUL. I am made to WALK!!!!! to the labour ward. By that stage I have been in pain for 27 hours and my plans of a nice waterbirth have gone down the drain and I desperately want an epidural. For this I have to wait too, using gas and air (which by the way does not help relieve the pain AT ALL in my experience, but it gave me something to do while in pain so took my mind off the pain very slightly) as the anaesthesist is in theatre with another mum. 

Once the epidural is put in place (they had to butcher my hand for this, I had a huge big blue bruise for 2 weeks afterwards) around 12.30 am on Thursday morning, I am more or less told to go to sleep until my cervix is open enough. This took until 5 am. During this time I was free to top up my epidural as I needed, which was great. However once the pushing starts I was not allowed to touch it. This was horrendous! 

Logan, who was by then 8 days late, took 2.5 hours of hard pushing to come out. Altogether that's 36 hours of labour. But apart from a slightly elongated skull making him look a bit like an Alien, he was (and still is) perfect. 

So to summarise, beware of latent labour and don't worry about puting your birth plan in the bin: intentions are great but at the end of the day, you will do what you feel on the day, not what you planned a month in advance. I regret not having had my waterbirth but there was no way I was going to go through that pain with only warm water, gas & air after 27 hours. 

This is a long and graphic first blog, they won't all be like this!